So I’m Type A, I’m a control freak and I’m a slight perfectionist. Whatevs…I’ve been destined for those roles! It’s not completely all my fault! I’m the oldest child and I grew up to be the boss (of my family business and my family…sorry Mike, let’s face it, I am).
During a business training session way back in 2007 or so I took the DISC personality test. “D” stands for Dominant, “I” stands for Influencer, “S” stands for Steady and “C” stands for Compliant. I was the only one in the entire conference room that ended up being the “Dominant”…and I don’t mean in the bedroom. How mortifying!? Seriously?! I’m a complete impatient bi-atch?! I was 29 then. Let’s fast forward to 2017 where I’m now 38 and a mother of 2. I’m still the boss at work and at home…
BUT….THINGS HAVE CHANGED
In 2010, I had my second child, was home on maternity leave and my dad (who I worked alongside my entire life) was diagnosed with stage 4 Cancer without warning. I was thrust into the role of boss BIG TIME at a point in my life when I was actually relishing staying at home with my baby girl Laney. Life became SERIOUS fast. We went through the motions of handling my dad’s treatment to beat cancer, juggled being the mom of a 2 year old and new baby AND running a multi-million dollar company. EVERYONE looked to me for the answers, for the plan, for the advice because I was the “boss,” right?! To this day, tears well up in my eyes thinking about this time of my life, mostly because I don’t remember being present for my new baby girl.
Life since then has been a blur…where did the last 6 years go? What did I do for my family? What did I do for my business? What did I do for my employees? What did I do for myself? Friends came and went, employees came and went, even family members came and went. My daily routine of work, pick up kids, make supper, do baths, bedtime, stare at the ceiling while I lay in bed and contemplate my day, deliberate what work would be like tomorrow, punish myself for the way it went today….blah, blah, blah these motions were just draining the life out of me. I was at an awfully low point emotionally because my life around me was in turbo motion but I wasn’t enjoying or keeping up with it. I felt a lot of weight on my shoulders (most of which I had put there). POOR ME.
Out of curiosity…I pulled up the DISC personality quiz and took it again recently. I was stunned by the results…I was exactly 25% Dominant, 25% Influencer, 25% Steady and 25% Compliant. I couldn’t believe it?! I even had a co-worker stand over me so I could take it again in front of her ensuring I couldn’t “cheat.” The same results came up again….25% of each!
…life had changed, I have changed.
The most obvious change was me having children, the part of me that was un-empathetic and impatient before had to grow into something I didn’t know existed in me. My work life had changed…I no longer take on the task of perfection or making everyone happy anymore – that’s unattainable. My job is just a job and I work with adults who are responsible for their own lives. I do the best I can, and that’s all I’m holding myself responsible for. My friendships have changed…and that’s a tough pill to swallow for an old homecoming queen. But out of these friendships old and new, and lessons learned along the way I discovered what the BEST MEDICINE IS…LAUGHTER. No psychologist, no pill, no bottle can compete with the side effects of laughter.
It was time for me to QUIT being so stinkin’ serious about EVERYTHING! I’ve always been the one who fake laughs at the punch line of jokes, I’ve never thought it was necessarily funny to act “goofy,” I hated not having a structured plan…and living like that was making me crazy and sad. It was time to LAUGH MORE! Be with people who make me LAUGH, laugh at myself…AND best of all, be the source of other people’s LAUGHTER! Initially, I had no idea this new dose of laughter was going to be so beneficial for my mind, body and soul…but slowly over time I discovered that it was THE BEST MEDICINE for an aching, tired, stressed out heart.
Thank God I have people surrounding me who make me laugh! My friends and family flood me with happiness and joy…and it’s complete music to my ears now at work when I hear my co-workers GUT laughing in the office! I love each and everyone of you…and you’ll never know what you’ve done and continue to do for my life. I pray that 2017 and the years to come are FILLED with tons of laughter…that which you bring to me, and that which I can hopefully bring to you.
LET’S LAUGH…let’s smile….let’s live. Advice from a Girl Boss.
xoxoxo Emily (Laney’s Mom)
SOME OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS LAUGHING, smiling and taking life NOT so seriously…